Slimed!: An Oral History of Nickelodeon's Golden Age Read online

  A PLUME BOOK

  SLIMED!

  MATHEW KLICKSTEIN is the author of This Book Is Called Counter, Daisy Goes to the Moon, Back to Hollywood, My Dog Forgot How to Read, and Rag Doll. He wrote Steven Seagal–starrer Against the Dark for Sony Pictures, cocreated National Lampoon’s CollegeTown USA, and directed the feature-length rockumentary Act Your Age: The Kids of Widney High Story.

  Mr. Klickstein has also written professionally for the live theater as well as numerous news outlets.

  He has grave difficulty finding steady employment.

  PLUME

  Published by the Penguin Group

  Penguin Group (USA), 375 Hudson Street,

  New York, New York 10014, USA

  USA | Canada | UK | Ireland | Australia | New Zealand | India | South Africa | China

  Penguin Books Ltd, Registered Offices: 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England

  For more information about the Penguin Group visit penguin.com

  First published by Plume, a member of Penguin Group (USA), 2013

  REGISTERED TRADEMARK—MARCA REGISTRADA

  Copyright © Mathew Klickstein, 2013

  All rights reserved. No part of this product may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. Purchase only authorized editions.

  PHOTOGRAPH CREDITS: Insert page 1: courtesy of Roger Price; Insert page 2 (first): courtesy of Diz McNally; (second): courtsey of Rita Hester; Insert page 3: courtesy of Bill Prickett; Insert page 4: courtesy of Jessica Gaynes; Insert page 5: courtesy of Will McRobb; Insert page 6 (first): courtesy of Marc Summers; (second): courtesy of Dave Rhoden; Insert page 7 (first): courtesy of D.J. MacHale, photo by Jonathan Wenk; (second): courtesy of Mitchell Kriegman; Insert page 8: courtesy of Heidi Lucas.

  LIBRARY OF CONGRESS CATALOGING-IN-PUBLICATION DATA

  Klickstein, Mathew.

  Slimed! : an oral history of Nickelodeon’s golden age / Mathew Klickstein.

  pages cm

  Includes index.

  ISBN 978-1-101-61409-9 (eBook)

  1. Nickelodeon (Television network)—History. 2. Oral history. I. Title.

  PN1992.92.N55K55 2013

  791.45'72—dc23 2013016056

  Michael Shotwell Jr., Stepbrother (1973–2012)

  Tony Whitfield, Superhero (1967–2012)

  Wendy Kale, Music Critic (1953–2011)

  “It’s what I call my Fail-osophy: I start every project as a failure. That way, if it fails, it’s a success. And if it succeeds and is therefore a failure . . . well, then we can party anyway.”

  —ORMLY GUMFUDGIN

  About the Author

  Title Page

  Copyright

  Dedication

  Epigraph

  FOREWORD BY MARC SUMMERS

  NOTE ON THE TEXT

  THE TWEEN:

  What was it like to grow up on Nickelodeon?

  THE MESS AND IRREVERENCE:

  What is green slime really made out of?

  THE DESIGN, FASHION, AND TECHNOLOGY:

  How did they get Nickelodeon to look so . . . Nickelodeon?

  THE MUSIC AND SOUND:

  What the hell is he singing about in the Pete & Pete theme song?

  THE DIVERSITY:

  Why were so many of the people on Nickelodeon white?

  THE CHALLENGES:

  Why did they kick the creator of Ren & Stimpy off his own show?

  THE END OF AN ERA:

  How has Nickelodeon changed over the years?

  SPECIAL MESSAGE FROM ARTIE,

  THE STRONGEST MAN IN THE WORLD

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  CAST OF CHARACTERS

  INDEX

  PHOTOGRAPHS

  ON YOUR MARK! GET SET!! STOP!!!

  Now that I have your attention, let’s talk about one of the most amazing channels ever created. One that pretty much changed the landscape of kids’ TV, not to mention my fledgling showbiz career!

  My first introduction to Nickelodeon was long before my Double Dare audition. It was our night-light, when our babies came home from the hospital and wanted that three-in-the-morning feeding. Cable was young, and we would catch the East Coast feed of a show that looked like something from the fifties: Pinwheel. The production, in my opinion, was horrible: the puppets were lackluster, and it seemed they reran the same six shows over and over. Yet I was mesmerized.

  Fast-forward the tape to 1986. I was doing many things to feed my family. These included warm-ups on TV shows like Webster, Star Search, and What’s Happening Now! . . . and working as a stand-up comic and magician in clubs all over LA. A friend from Indianapolis—a ventriloquist—decided he was ending his performing career, moving behind the camera, and called to tell me about an audition I should attend instead of him. He said the network was Nickelodeon, and it was a kids’ game show. Hell, at that point of my life, I would audition for anything. Well, as we all know, it worked out pretty well.

  The first day at the studio set the tone for what was about to come down. It was a bunch of young guys who were very bright and creative and yet had little experience in the world of game shows. I was the old man of the group at age thirty-four (although focus groups thought I was in my early twenties), with thirteen years of experience as a game show writer. I had crossed paths with some of the greats, including Bob Barker, Jack Barry, and Ralph Edwards. It really did not matter. We all had a sick sense of humor, were nostalgic for early TV references—and did I mention, we could do pretty much whatever we wanted?

  Geraldine Laybourne was running the place and had a great philosophy: Hire people who know what they are doing . . . and then let them do their jobs. I miss her! That is why the joint was successful. We were allowed to be a little off center, think on the spot, and, in my opinion, play up to the audience. We never felt we were doing a kids’ show. We compared our humor to Rocky & Bullwinkle and Soupy Sales. It was kids’ TV that parents wanted to watch. It was one of the main reasons Double Dare took off.

  Our success on Double Dare opened the floodgates. All of a sudden, kids had their own game shows, talk shows, variety shows, sitcoms, and dramas. They were all a bit raw in production values, but the casting was superb, as was the writing. The people on screen spoke like real kids and were not blue-eyed, blond-haired specimens from the perfect world of Disney. The audience could relate to what they saw on the screen. Finally!

  Add to this contests that included romps through toy stores; Nick Takes Over Your School; arena tours with Double Dare, What Would You Do?, and GUTS . . . and the best slogan anywhere: “The place where only kids win!” It was to kids of a particular generation the golden age of TV. Now, well into their thirties, these viewers look back fondly on the shows, characters, and music associated with these programs.

  Why did it work? Was it the casting? The writing? The irreverence? Was it just timing? What you are about to read might explain it. Personally, I think it is like trying to dissect a joke. Why is it funny? Who cares? It worked, and we are all glad it did. Sooooooo . . .

  On your mark! Get set!! Go!!!!

  Happy Reading!

  MARC SUMMERS

  Host, Double Dare and What Would You Do?

  This oral history of Nickelodeon is created from a series of original, one-on-one interviews conducted by the author. Some quotes have been appropriately modified
for purposes of clarity.

  CHRISTINE TAYLOR: It was sort of us going through the things a lot of kids do . . . but we were doing it on TV. I can go back and see myself growing up before my very own eyes—for all the world to see.

  DANNY TAMBERELLI: It’s part of how I became who I am now. I’ve heard the same thing happened to me said by people who grew up watching the show. It was okay to be weird and be a little bit off and not be completely status quo. It sort of molded me. I still burp and stick things up my nose.

  ELIZABETH HESS: Of course, both Melissa Joan Hart and Jason Zimbler were going through huge changes. They went through puberty over the course of Clarissa. They both learned how to drive during the course of the shows. Jason’s voice changed. Melissa’s body went from a girl to a young woman. All those sorts of things.

  JUDY GRAFE: Something everybody noticed was when Michael Maronna’s voice was changing. We were all like, “What does that mean? Is he still going to be Pete?” Then once he was becoming an early teen idol, all the young girls were coming to the sets all atwitter over him. That’s something we noticed, too.

  ALISON FANELLI: Some weeks were horrid because we were going through puberty and I might have this big pimple on my forehead while I’m trying to shoot a close-up. I got to a point where every scene they were putting powder on my face, because we were just oily teenagers. After a while, they were more conscious about giving us different dressing spaces instead of trading off in the same space. But mine was near Michael’s and Danny’s. Oh gosh, yeah. It was super awkward.

  VANESSA LINDORES: Growing up isn’t easy. Doing it in front of a lot of people doesn’t make it any easier.

  ALASDAIR GILLIS: This entrance into puberty was being captured on film. For myself, it was kind of jarring.

  LARISA OLEYNIK: It’s definitely embarrassing when you’re literally growing up in front of people’s eyes. You’re doing wardrobe fittings and it’s like, “Oh! I have hips now! I’m not just the beanpole I used to be!” It’s awkward, but no more awkward than it would be otherwise. It would have been more awkward if I had just been going to junior high being like, “What do I do?”

  HEIDI LUCAS: There was something female-related that I went through on Salute Your Shorts, and I felt completely secure with the female crew that was there. I knew I could take a problem or concern to anyone and they would wrap their arms around me physically and figuratively to help me through any problem.

  HERB SCANNELL: Things were, by and large, sympathetic. Most of the kids had family structures they were living in, and our job was to let them continue being kids.

  JASON ZIMBLER: Those people helped to raise me. They made me funny. They made me a good person.

  ALISON FANELLI: But parts of it were really awkward and hard. In the “What We Did on Our Summer Vacation” special, I was eleven or twelve and working in the photo booth costume. It was a yellow T-shirt and a green jumper that was a skirt. Something went wrong with the microphone, they yelled cut, and one of the crew members came over, got down on his knees, and went right for the microphone, which was wrapped around my waist under the dress. My mom came flying out of nowhere: “No! No! No!” That was the first time I was conscious to, “Oh, maybe I should be more aware that he was grabbing me!” It was totally professional, but . . .

  JESSICA GAYNES: I was the youngest of all of the hosts on Wild & Crazy Kids. And I was a girl. Sometimes it’s shocking how we’d get one crew person who would be clueless. There was one time where they said, “Put them in their spaces.” One of them thought it would be funny to say, “Jessica’s in her hole!” I heard it. And everybody who heard it, their jaws dropped. One person said, “What are you doing? She’s a minor! Do you want to get sued?” Those incidents are scarring. Young girls can’t handle that.

  JUSTIN CAMMY: The crew on You Can’t Do That on Television introduced me to pornography. Playboy was always lying around.

  ADAM WEISSMAN: You’re going through hormonal changes on your own, you’re feeling awkward in your own body, you’re trying to figure yourself out . . . and then you thrust that awkwardness in front of the cameras, in front of people, doing scripted TV, which you may or may not have been trained to do. You have to deal with the pressures of a TV show, and two or three hours a day in short increments, you get pulled off the set to go to school. There’s somebody knocking on the door every twenty minutes, saying, “Okay, it’s time to come back to the set!”

  JUSTIN CAMMY: That is the totally unglamorous nature to making a TV show: The days are long, it’s really boring, you’re inside an overly air-conditioned studio. Most of the time you’re waiting for lights to work or cameras to be set. It’s a fun job, but nevertheless a job.

  MICHAEL MARONNA: I didn’t think of it so much as a career. I had my individual pursuits—was into my Nintendo, playing outside . . .

  LARISA OLEYNIK: I was able to maintain a relatively normal life. We all just got up, went to work, and then did our homework. Then went to bed. And socialized like normal human beings on the weekend.

  JOANNA GARCIA: My parents were okay with me doing Are You Afraid of the Dark? because it was conducive to being normal and staying in school in Florida, then going up for a couple weeks to shoot in Montreal. I got the best of both worlds.

  JACOB TIERNEY: Those of us in the Midnight Society weren’t in the stories; we just kinda burned our little bits and played with the fire. They taped all of our stuff at the beginning of each season.

  D.J. MACHALE: That was a challenge, because it meant all the stories had to be set up very early on because we couldn’t do a campfire scene where the kids would say, “This is a story about a really scary . . . thing.”

  JACOB TIERNEY: We did it—the campfire stuff—so quickly. If memory serves, we’d do a whole season maybe within two weeks. Maybe four of them a day, and then we were done. It’s kind of a black hole in my memory.

  JUDY GRAFE: Danny’s mother made him understand that this was a temporary thing and that a lot of times what happens when kids who are actors grow up is that they find there’s nothing there for them.

  DANNY TAMBERELLI: My parents were really good at keeping me grounded. I worked at a bagel store while working on All That. I played rec soccer and baseball during all the shooting of Pete & Pete. They made sure to work really hard so I wouldn’t have a Michael Jackson upbringing or anything.

  DANNY COOKSEY: It’s an interesting thing that happens when you’re successful and young; it changes everything. I was around a lot of people who were sort of affected by it, and it’s a weird chip that people carry around. You can either take the negative around with you or take the positive. Nobody comes out unscathed.

  MELISSA JOAN HART: I was working too hard to get into trouble. I wasn’t in Hollywood; I was in Orlando, and other than the two boys on Clarissa, I was the only one around my age. All the people around were like big brothers and sisters keeping an eye on me, telling me what’s right and wrong. I didn’t have to go drinking or do drugs or go to clubs or any of that, because I was having such fun being a part of this whole thing.

  SEAN O’NEAL: When kids are in the spotlight and they are not given room to breathe and they are sucked into the vortex of what this industry can do to certain people, that’s a shame. I went through some transitional periods afterward that took a long time to really get me solid. But man, the show was an amazing experience.

  ADAM REID: It wasn’t a big deal in Ottawa. None of my friends cared that I was doing You Can’t Do That on Television. Several times I would do these trips—Vanessa, Doug, Les, and I went and rolled Easter eggs on the White House lawn; we met George Bush!—and then we’d go back to school like nothing happened.

  BLAKE SENNETT: Any time you bounce back and forth, it’s weird. You’re the king of the universe and then you go back to school and you have no friends and you’re “that nerdy theater kid.” I felt like a dork in high school. But it was worth it.
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br />   ALISON FANELLI: I got teased a bunch in elementary school. In high school, they knew that I was gone for four months of the school year and then I’d be back. The teachers were even used to it. I had a really tight-knit group of friends who knew what I was doing. When I was off set, I was Ally. I got to be me: go to school, go to homecoming dances, and play the oboe, and sing in the theater show. Growing up, no matter how big a show is—and we didn’t think Pete & Pete was all that popular at the time—you just gotta be careful of the friends you pick. I could tell which people wanted to ask about the show and hang out just because I was on a show, as opposed to my friends. That’s a good life lesson.

  HEIDI LUCAS: When life went back to normal, and the show went on syndication, I found a world of conflict. I had so much praise and support from my family. My true friends thought it was the greatest thing in the world. But then I would go to school . . . I could not escape enough. I had to have lunch in a teacher’s homeroom with a teacher because it was the safest place for me to go. Everybody wanted to beat me up. I had “kick your ass” threats all over my locker; I had “Heidi ho” written on my locker. It got so bad I was pulled out and was homeschooled for my last year and a half. That’s how bad it was.

  MEGAN BERWICK: A lot of kids who act go through the same thing where everybody hates you. The other thing is that you’re not in school enough in a year that you can actually be a part of any of the cliques. One of the things that struck me about junior high was how many lunch breaks I’d spend sitting in the bathroom alone. It wasn’t until college that I realized I was actually pretty and could date and all that stuff. I definitely never got asked out in high school. Not a single time.

  TREVOR EYSTER: I certainly would never have thought Megan would have had that trouble. Sure, she had braces, but she was bright, amazingly intelligent, quirky, charming.